The Pursuit of Happiness

A Symphony for Wind Ensemble

Program Notes

In a time when the world seems upside down with war, famine, climate change, and political divisiveness I decided it was time to create music that celebrates optimism.  Just when the world was coming out a pandemic, war ravaged our earth, mass shootings returned to pre-pandemic times, terrorism and racism (both towards different cultures but also within and towards different religious viewpoints) became prominent headlines in our fast-moving world.

One night I was death scrolling through different social media seeing so much anger, hatred and frankly stupidity that I stopped, put down my phone, computer, and sat in quiet meditation focusing purely on my breath. I stood up and kept focusing on my breath and quietly said, “I am here, now.” As if I was using “abracadabra” or screaming “open says me” the room lit up in vibrant colors, the sound of Don Ellis and his big band seemed crisper, scents were brought to their highest point and when I ran my fingers through my two dogs coats, I felt every single hair reach up to join me.

For the first time in months, I was there, or rather here, as I am now writing this note. We have heard it all over the noisy spaces we occupy, social media has disconnected us, siloed us in ways that have lost any sense of true joy or happiness. We can escape to shout into the cavern that echoes our same beliefs and never once interact with a human being in the flesh. Self-checkout counters, screens to order food at local sandwich shops, even ordering from online retailers, has limited and almost removed us from human connection.

Although I have been practicing meditation since 1989, sometimes the message comes when you need to hear it.  I was aware enough to stop scrolling and hear the message. “Your happiness is only in one place, here, and now.”

I have struggled as a composer, conductor and yes, even as a trumpet player. The field of music is full of competing personalities, some offend others, while others complain of not being seen, or heard. Prior to my awakening, I read posts by young composers who write dark, heavy, Mahlerian symphonies. Every work I listened to sounded like the weight of the entire, negative world was on their shoulders. I thought, “Why do these young composers wish to be so heavy?” “Why do we, the experienced composers, feel so jaded?”

“Do you know how many people would love to be you?”

This led me to my pursuit of happiness. Not necessarily the one mentioned in the United States Constitution, but what in this present makes me happy.  And to begin, I needed to know what makes me unhappy.

I found that living a life of comparing myself to other musicians has never yielded the acceptance by those musicians. I watched as others did everything they could, right or wrong, for their art. They sacrificed friendships, collegial relationships to be the name someone would talk about and then do it all over again since today, with social media, you get your one thousand likes of fame, and yet feel empty. I too fell into and still fall into these attachments. I too participated in these misadventures only to find that it brought me no closer to feeling happy for more than a few moments in a much broader lifetime.

I decided to be grateful for what I have, who I have in my life. I decided to forgive everyone that wronged me, but most importantly forgive myself for allowing to feel wronged and forgive myself for the heavy past I was carrying. I choose to be here, now. No past, no future. What a better way than to compose a SYMPHONY?

One experiences music in the now. We do not have any idea what happened before the first sound, and do not know what sound is coming next. It is the most present form of art I can think of that remains, at least for now, human. There are surprises, predictability based on past listening experiences, and vulnerability of heightened aesthetic emotional responses to sound.

I was, at the start, intimidated by such an engrained and monumental form of music. Even with it being complete, I am still intimidated by such a form. The greatest music of all genres of music has symphonies. Here is mine. It is my first and maybe my only.  I composed a work of joy, of present, of now. This music celebrates the gratitude I have for the wonderful life I have been given. I hope conductors, ensembles and audiences find the joy in these sounds as well.

About the Composition:

Each movement is drawn on the talks and writings of philosopher Alan Watts.

The tonal language of the work comes from my love of consonant and dissonant clusters. Here it is a Major 7,Major 2, Tritone and minor 2. Each movement is based on these intervals.

In 2023 I discovered the recordings of Don Ellis. I have been listening to each album over and over. I prefer the live concerts and marvel at three things.

1.    The amazing rhythmic ability of the musicians.

2.    The progressive harmonic language, intentional or not.

3.    The joy the band and Don perform with each night.

In the same summer I discovered Don Ellis, my wife, Chrissy shared The Happiness Lab podcast led by Dr. Laurie Santos who is a professor at Yale University. Each week I listen to her guests and Dr. Santos reveal secrets to happiness that many of us have forgotten. I always come away with a new perspective. If Laurie ever hears The Pursuit of Happiness, thank you.

I.               The Seeker

My obsession with Ellis, David Byrne, and Dee Snider greatly influenced the form of this movement. From ripping motivic figures, minimalistic texture and Heavy Metal, my happiness is sought out and revealed.

II.             When I looked to the sky, the stars sparkled with love

I lost both of my parents recently. My mother taught me to always look up at night. We shared a love for the night sky, and to this day, I lay in my backyard looking at the infinity of the universe. 

My father’s last words to me were, “I’m Proud of You”. I can hear them still echoing in my heart. He always encouraged me to keep looking up in my career but more importantly my family.

The motive is explored in its wider intervals to create a sense of space, and love.

III.           Simply, Play

I love to ride my bike. I probably love riding my bike more than any other activity I do. It’s so honest. When there is a hill, you have a choice, face it,  suffer, and one will find joy on the descent. What a nice metaphor used throughout time, but for me, it’s actionable, its real, and here and now.  I train to race, but also like to just go “play bikes”. The smaller intervals are explored in this movement.

IV.          Be Here, Now

It is here that the motive is brought to exuberance. Clean, crisp, clever fun. The full combination of intervals is set this time as a celebratory dance of joy. Music from the first movement returns in the short codetta to bring everything back to one. From one to one. The eternal now.